What we focus on can make or break us. For most of my life, I was always focused on the negative things and things I didn’t like about myself. I realized it was affecting me more as I got older; maybe because I was maturing and becoming more aware of my faults. And yes, I know the bible says that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, and that God created me for something good and that all sounds beautiful, but I really didn’t believe it.
So let me share a little about me. I grew up in church. I’ve gone to church my entire life, but it was just that. There was no real relationship between God and me. During hard times I would seek him and then when everything seemed to be going a little better I would be back to my old habits. I got tired of this hot and cold relationship I had with God, but I didn’t know how to turn it around (key word I). The biggest problem here was that I was trying to change me instead of asking God to change me.
Since I was trying to do this change on my own, I constantly had negative thoughts in my head every time I tried to do better. My focus was always on, you’re not smart enough, you don’t know enough, you’re going to sound foolish, you will never be able to do it. I really felt all sorts of ways and these thoughts just constantly played in my head. This affected me both spiritually and personally. This was how I always felt at church, work or school. Self-confidence is something I have always struggled with.
So I got to a point where I really needed something different, I needed a change and that’s when my new journey began. Just two and a half years I truly made a conscious effort to continually and faithfully seek the Lord more. That means doing more than just being involved in church things and going to church during the week and on Sunday’s. It means more than just clapping and raising my hands to praise the Lord at the right moment. It means more than just reading the Bible and praying here and there and knowing just enough to get by. Yes, I have been in church my entire life and just two and a half years ago I truly made the decision to seek the Lord with all my mind, heart and soul. WHOA…SHOCKER! Yes, I know it’s sad, but it’s the reality for many. People can be in church day in and day out, be leaders, active members and look well put together and not truly have a personal relationship with the God. For some, and this was me, it becomes a routine, a part of life because that is all we know or it’s what we are used to.
So when I started this new journey, instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do and lacked, I began to focus on God and began praying more and asking God to work in me, to change me, to help me overcome my negativity. I began to read his word every day and began to read personal growth books to help me be a better person, wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. And I can honestly say that I can see how God has been working in me and how I’ve changed in the past two and a half years. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m not where I used to be and I’m grateful to God for that because I know that he is in fact doing a good work in me.
So let’s refocus our thoughts and allow God to work in and through us. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you’ve been, how long or how little you’ve been in church or how much you know or don’t know. What matters most to God is that you open up your heart to him and allow him to heal and mend the things that have crippled and held you down for so long. And while in the process of restoration always remember that you are loved, you are needed and you are wanted. We need what you carry on your life. So if God has placed a longing within you, he will give you the strength, the courage, and the boldness to bring it forward. We just have to place our trust in him and he will do the rest.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite verses: Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
Would love to hear from you and know your thoughts. Let’s be vulnerable with each other.
What have you been focusing on that has put a barrier between you and God? What’s distracting you or keeping you from having a relationship with him?
God bless you always
Yesenia